solstice eve

this is my first day and night off in a long time. I'm sort of freaked out. what should I do? I want to take the kids to the splash park but my daughter has a friend over and I'm afraid she'll be real mad at me if I send her home. Why don't I just take her with? I guess I could.

tomorrow is the summer solstice. why is it so much easier when everything around me is living, not dying. half -- more than half the year here in this part of the country, it feels like things are dead.

so many things are falling into place now, I feel like this

I sort of don't like this solstice. even though summer is beginning here in the midwest, now the earth turns toward the decline and why does that bother me so much? I don't like it that on the first day of summer, the days actually grow shorter. Maybe because Spring in the midwest is sort of a rip off, fleeting and ingenuous. Mostly cold and muddy and shitty out and then a few things sprout, then it snows again and you gotta start all over. And the ingracious wind. Making everyone stay inside all damn April.

Then everything blooms, all at once, and everything is that shimmering magical green color for only a few days, and if you do not appreciate it on those very few days, you are fucked until next year. Not like the fall, where things decay and turn color for months on end. More wind, more slush. Some drama. At least fall is dramatic, even if it goes on forever.

I would like it if the days grew longer until august, when summer seems to hit the ceiling. What part of the world do I need to live in for that to happen?