Please See Attendant

yesterday.

the gas station says "please see attendant". I have just pressed the premium button and wanted only regular gas (2.19 a gallon!!!) and was only trying to cancel my transaction. But "please see attendant" is easier said than done. I have a two year old in the car as well as about 200 things to do before I go to work later. I have just dropped off my daughter at school. This is a no brainer, put gas in the car, but it is about to turn into a herculean feat.

only the beginning of the morning.

I pull into another pump. "please see attendant". I pull into another, "please see attendant".

I pull up to the gas station door and hold the door open with my foot. a relatively small place. She tells me she needs my credit card if I want gas because I cancelled my last transaction, credit card fraud, etc etc blahblahblah. So I give it to her. How much do I want? I don't know! I just want to fill my tank! Why is this so hard.

So I go out after telling her to put in twenty bucks. It won't pump. I get my 2yo out of the car. We get in line. Powerball, lottery, cigarettes, lottery lottery lottery. I guess if you don't win, you just stand there and keep buying tickets? I get up to the front and she says, oh I need your signature. I should have known. I guess I thought I was supposed to sign after I pumped or something. Maybe I was frazzled having my son in the car and standing in the doorway. At any rate, I say maybe I'd better just go, and she flips my card back at me... "fine!"

should've known. I already have bad luck with gas stations. should've known.

ok ok. I go to the next station for the $2.19 gas. It's BP Amoco, my mortal enemy. But I give in and fill up. $23.00.

I get home and need to print resumes for an audition later. This should be a very easy thing to do. The computer screen is dark, totally blank. My crazy husband is downloading too much music and the dang thing is maxed out. I can barely get it to work. He tells me to take the battery out, so I do, my son needs me to play with him of course, and I'm desperate to, because I am needing him as well, I need to wash and do something to my really hideous hair, and find something to wear. I need to also pack up for work. I can't get the battery out with the really awful tool I'm using, some sort of screw driver assorted bit gizmo, and when the computer turns back on the screen is still blank. try to put screwdriver away, can't even figure out how to close it. txt mssg husband, phone says no signal. I just burst into tears. I seems like I am at the end of my day, and it hasn't even begun!

I feel absolutely worthless and really stupid and silly and completely inept.

anyway, I go to the kitchen and do something I've never done before. I grab a bottle of wine ( really nice pinot noir that I had a glass of a few nights back) and chug it.

It's 10:30 am.

I can't believe I did this. And you know what? It worked. I suddenly functioned marvelously, made decisions, got myself together, the boy over to my mom's, and out the door. It didn't really feel like I'd chugged wine. It just felt like the edge was off, and I'd fixed it somehow. I was impressed with myself. My audition went great and I had quite a power-day at work and then the meeting that followed into evening was just fine as well.

why has it never occurred to me to do this before? I have no idea. I have no idea if it will work again. But hey, I'm open. That's my story. That's yesterday anyway. Later.